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Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector.
A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.
A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you.
A Polish and an Italian are hunting in the woods. Suddenly a
naked woman appears.
Italian: Boy, I could eat her!...
The Polish guy shot her.
Polish firing squad, stands in a circle.
Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.
Q: What do you get if you integrate around Europe?
A: Zero. Because there are no poles in Europe.
Actually, there are some Poles in Europe, but they're removable.
A patient goes to a polish doctor.
Patient: I am having a hard time hearing. I cannot even hear myself
cough.
Doctor: Here is a prescription, take the midicine for 7 days,
then return for a checkup.
Seven days later....
Patient: Thanks a million Doctor; at least I can hear myself cough now.
So what did you do to make me hear better?
Doctor: Not much, I gave you medicine that increased your caugh.
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a
theater? They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."
Two Polish truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to an
overpass. A sign says, "Clearance: 11"2'." So they get out, measure
their truck, and realize that it's 11"6'. So the first Polak looks at
the second Polak and says, "I don't see any cops around....let's go
for it!"
A Polish man was walking down the street, carrying a brown
paper bag. He ran into one of his friends, who asked, "Hey! What do
you have in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish
in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can
guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one."
The man says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many
fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland.
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest
Service.
Q. Why don't polish women use vibrators?
A. It chips their teeth.
Q. How do you sink a polish battleship?
A. Put it in water.
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