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A Journalist has to write a story on the lack of meat in
Poland. So he goes off to Poland and asks the people:
"Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?"
All the poles reply: "Meat? What is meat?"
Seeing he cannot get an answer in Poland he goes to the USSR
and asks the Soviets:
"Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?"
All the Soviets reply: "Think? What is think?"
Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USSR he goes to the USA
and asks the Americans:
"Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?"
All the Americans reply: "Lack? What is lack?"
Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USA he decides to go to
Israel, and asks the Israelis:
"Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?"
To which all the Israelis reply: "Excuse me? What is excuse
me?"
Q: How do you know if a Polak has been using a computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
A Polish guy is walking along the beach in France. There are
many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet
one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all
interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy
lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been
trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just
can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these
women. What do they *want*?"
"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What
you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming
suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly
zees way." "Wow! Thanks!" says the Polish guy, and off he goes to the
store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back
to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck
with the ladies.
So he goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you
again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I
*still* haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go
to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and
walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly
zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the
potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach.
Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look
at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to
the Frenchman.
"Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and
I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I
do?"
"Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle
beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the *front* of zee
sweeming suit?"
A Polak wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor
and started lessons. The instructor told the Polak to jump out of the
plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he
himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down
together. The Polak understood and was ready.
The time came to have the Polak jump from the air plane. The
instructor reminded the Polak that he would be right behind him. The
Polak proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for
a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping
from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute
did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute
open, darted past the Polak.
The Polak seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his
parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"
The Minnesota Fish and Game Comission wanted to develop a fish that
would offer more for their sportsmen so they crossed a Coho with a
Walleye and called it a Kowal. It grew to a nice size and reproduced
well but it wouldn't bite. They crossed the Kowal with a Muskie and
called it a Kowalski but they were so stupid they had to teach them
how to swim.
Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night? A
polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup
truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the
bottom. The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the
back drowned...they couldn't get the tailgate open.
New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.
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