An English guy is driving with a Polish guy as his passenger,
when he decides to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal
may not be working. He asks the Polish guy if he doesn't mind stepping
out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. The Polish guy
steps out and stands in front of the car.
The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it
working?"
To which the Polish guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No,
it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."
This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took
off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it
to his head. His wife started laughing.
"Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach
looked him over and decided to give him a chance.
"I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you
come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the
team."
"Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly.
The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many
days are there in a week that start with the letter 'T'? Second, how
many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in
'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"
Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he
knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in
the week that start with 'T'?"
The Polak said, "Two!"
"Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?"
"Today and Tomorrow!"
"Hmm... OK," said the coach. "How many seconds are there in a
year?"
"Twelve!"
"Twelve? How did you come up with twelve?" The coach was
perplexed.
"Well," said the Polak, "there's the second of January, the
second of February, the second of..."
"Um.. OK," broke in the coach. "How many d's in 'Rudolph the
Red Nosed Reindeer?'"
"Oh, that is easy!" laughed the Polak. "Three hundred and
sixty-five!"
"WHAT?" cried the coach. "How did you get that figure?"
To which the Polak sang, "dee dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee...."
A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the
desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start
walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to
get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he
saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher
noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he
was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are
you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that
since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he
was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking
toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?"
asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that
since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he
had the bread.
Finally the Polak appeared, dragging a car door through the
sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, "Hey, why are you
dragging that car door?"
"Well," said the Polak, "I have a long way to go, so if it
gets too hot, I'll roll down the window."
A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He
drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the
rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step
out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and
start busting up his new car. They look back and the is smiling. They
hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and
ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car."
He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."
Polish wedding, the groom stands by the reset button (bowling joke).
Polish kamikaze flew 48 successful missions.
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