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On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in
the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up
in the country people's fashion.
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a
Polak, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe
says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10
times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his
back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Polak, "What
do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Polak, and he stands there
straight and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the
American.
He responds, "I'll take the Polak!"
A Polak went to a carpenter and said, "Can you build me a box
that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose,
but what would you want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said the Polak, "my neighbor moved away and
forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."
Did you hear about the latest Polish invention? It's a solar-powered
flashlight.
A travelling salesman has an audience with the Pope and, not
quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke...
"Have you heard the one about the two Polish priests, Holy Father?"
"But I _am_ Polish, my son."
There followed a pregnant pause while the salesman thought quickly ...
"That's OK, Holy Father, I'll tell you it slowly."
Q: How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to
spin the chair.
Polish Air Lines flight 113 was descending for a landing at an
airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the
windshield and suddenly exclaimed to the copilot, "Holy cow! Look how
short the runway is! I`ve never seen one that short!"
The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you`re right!
That`s incredible! Are you sure we can make it?"
"Well we better, were almost out of fuel."
So the captain got on the intercom and notified the passengers
to put their heads between their knees and prepare for an emergency
landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the plane to
just over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on the
ragged edge of control. The pilot`s hands were sweating, the copilot
was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST
before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. "WHEW! That was
CLOSE!" yelled the captain."That runway was SHORT!"
"Yeah!" said the copilot,"and WIDE too!"
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak
with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its
end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole
out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the
yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."
The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American!
I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
Q: Why did the Polak cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Did you hear about the tragedy in Poland? In Poland's largest shopping
mall, there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the
escalators for 4 hours.
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