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A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the
desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start
walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to
get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he
saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher
noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he
was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are
you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that
since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he
was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking
toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?"
asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that
since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he
had the bread.
Finally the Polak appeared, dragging a car door through the
sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, "Hey, why are you
dragging that car door?"
"Well," said the Polak, "I have a long way to go, so if it
gets too hot, I'll roll down the window."
A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He
drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the
rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step
out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and
start busting up his new car. They look back and the is smiling. They
hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and
ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car."
He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."
Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night? A
polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup
truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the
bottom. The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the
back drowned...they couldn't get the tailgate open.
A Russian party-official arrives late at night to his hotel
(in Russia). He is not surprised to find that his reservation has been
mislaid but he is more than a little peeved that his status in the
party isn't enough to get him a good room anyway. However, the clerk
insists, the only bed they have left is the fourth bunk in a 4-bed
dorm - he'll have to make do with that. The Russian grumbles but
eventually he picks up his suitcase and heads for the dorm. On his
way, he meets a chamber-maid and thinking he might as well try to make
friends with his room-mates, he asks her to bring them four cups of
tea.
As he enters the dorm, he finds that the other three guests
are Polish, they are having a fairly wild party and they're *very*
drunk. They also ignore him totally from the moment he enters. After
sitting there for several minutes, he realizes he can't stand them
anymore and decides to pull a joke on them. He stands up, grasps a
floor lamp and speaking into the light-bulb as if it were a microphone
he says: "Comrade Colonel, we would like four cups of tea to our room
immediately!" The Poles stare at him in disbelief, which turns to
horror as the chamber-maid knocks on the door and delivers the tea a
few minutes later. In about 30 seconds the Poles have all packed their
bags and fled the hotel. Our Russian gets the entire room to
himself. He sleeps very soundly.
The next morning, however, as he's checking out and is about
to leave, the desk-clerk calls after him:
"By the way, Sir, the Comrade Colonel said to tell you he
appreciated your little joke last night!"
These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are
amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to
the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"
The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on
the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X
tomorrow."
The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the
same boat?"
Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in
Poland? The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.
A Polak saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his
collar, he stopped him and said, "Excuse me, but why are you wearing your
shirt backwards?"
The priest laughed, "Because, my son, I am a Father!"
The Polak scratched his head. "But I am a father too, and I
don't wear my shirt backwards!"
Again the priest laughed. "But I am a Father of thousands!"
To which the Polak replied, "Well then you should wear your shorts
backwards!"
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