A Polak, an American, and a German had a room full of dirty
tampons, and they decided to have a contest to see who could stay in
there the longest. First it was the American's turn. The other two
locked him in the room and waited. A week later, they heard him
whimpering and pounding on the door so they let him out.
"That is the sickest smell I have ever endured!" cried the
American. "I couldn't stay in there another minute!"
Next it was the German's turn. After a month he finally banged
on the door to be let out. "Oh God, that is the most putrid smell in
the world! I couldn't take it another minute!" he cried as he gasped
for breath.
Finally it was the Polak's turn. They locked him in the room
and waited. A week went by, a month, a year. The German and American
heard nothing. Finally they began to worry, so they yelled through the
door, "You can come out now! You've won the contest by far!"
To which the Polak yelled back, "No, not yet! I'm not done
eating the jelly donuts."
Polish loan shark lends out all his money, skips town.
Q. Why don't polish women use vibrators?
A. It chips their teeth.
Q. How do you sink a polish battleship?
A. Put it in water.
Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector.
A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.
A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you.
A Polish and an Italian are hunting in the woods. Suddenly a
naked woman appears.
Italian: Boy, I could eat her!...
The Polish guy shot her.
Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be burried at sea
when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave.
Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and
subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
Man goes to a whore house. The Madam is out of women but,
since the guy is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up
doll and he will never know the difference. Being a bit nervous
because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside
the door. The Ploack comes out in five minutes. "How was it?", says
the Madam.
"I don't know," says the Polak, "I bit her on the tit and she
farted and flew out the window!"
A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German
soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each
climing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree
where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come
down."
The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."
The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next
tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up
there; come down."
The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."
The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next
tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up
there; come down."
The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo,
moo..."
Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
A: So the cops can find the handles.
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.
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