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It wasn't just our citizens you spit on when you turned,
but every one of yours who fell the day the towers burned.
Q: How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: Did you hear about the French hockey team?
A: They all drowned in spring training.
Q: Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A: Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Parisian sauna. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound.
President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping stopped. The others looked curiously at him. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. "I have a microchip embedded under the skin of my forearm." Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the ringing stopped. The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. I have a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of low-tech. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the sauna, but returned momentarily. When he returned, Bush and Blair both stared at him increduously. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Frenchman's posterior. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he feigned astonishment: "Marie sainte! I'm think I'm getting a fax."
But now you've made a big mistake, and one that you'll regret;
you took sides with our enemies, and that we won't forget.
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Frenchman with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long." The Frenchman grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
So keep your Paris fashions and your wine and your champagne,
and find some other market t that will buy your aeroplanes.
And try to find somebody else to wear your French cologne,
for you're about to find out what it means to stand alone.
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway.
French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. The forward gear exists in case they are attacked from behind.
Q: What do French recruits learn in basic training?
A: How to surrender in 17 different languages.
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