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Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion.
The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking.
Donald Rumsfeld was being heckled by a French anti-war weenie when he suddenly turned and asked the Frenchman:
"Excuse me. Do you speak German?" The Frenchman replied "No." Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome."
A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains for dinner. She saw that American and British brains were $4.95 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. She gasped and asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint.
"No ma'm," answered the butcher. "That is the correct price." "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" exclaimed the cannibal. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains?" replied the butcher.
Q: How many generations does it take to learn ingratitude?
A: Trois
A: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand?
Q: More sand.
Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered?
A: Table for one hundred thousand, sir?
President Bush and the french ambassador were debating the Iraqi crisis. The President explained:
"If we don't stop Hussein soon, any future conflict with this madman would be a nuclear bloodbath. " The interpreter couldn't translate this, however, since there is no word for "bath" in French.
Q: How are French babies born?
A: With their hands up (surrendering).
Q: Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
A: He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French.
Conan O'Brien
Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been done.
Jay Leno
For just a strip of dismal beach they paid a hero's price,
to save a foreign nation they all made the sacrifice.
And now the shores of Normandy are lined with blocks of white:
Americans who didn't turn from someone else's plight.
Eleven thousand reasons for the French to take our side,
but in the moment of our need, they chose to run and hide.
Chirac said every war means loss, perhaps for France that's true,
for they've lost every battle since the days of Waterloo.
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