Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
Computer Song To be sung with the theme from the Beverly Hillbillys:
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Ted, A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was talking to a recruiter who said, "they'll pay big bucks if ya work on a computer".. UNIX, that is....Windows XP....Workstations...C++...VB Well, the first thing ya know ol' Ted's an engineer. The kinfolk said "Ted, move away from here". They said "Arizona is the place you oughta be" so he bought some donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee... Intel, that is....dry heat... no amusement parks..... On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube. Fed him lots of donuts and sat him at a tube. They said "your project's late, but we know just what to do Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!" OT, that is ...unpaid...mandatory..... The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad. Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad. They called another meeting and decided on a fix. the answer's very simple..."we'll work him sixty-six!" Tired, that is.. stressed out.. no social life.... Months turned into years and his hair was turning gray. Ted worked very hard while his life just slipped away Waiting to retire when he turned 64, instead he got a call and escorted out the door. Laid off, that is...de-briefed...unemployed. Now the moral of the story is, do what you are told companies will use you and discard you when you're old So gather up your friends and start your own firm, Beat the competition, watch old bosses squirm. Millionaires that is.....Bill Gates...Steve Jobs... Ya'll come back now, ya hear. There! Now get back to work!
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
If the auto industry had done what the computer industry has done in the past 30 years, a Rolls Royce would cost $2.50 and would get 2,000,000 miles per gallon.
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I can't find the reverse switch!
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
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