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Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
Cursor: What you become when your computer crashes.
> YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?
Yes.
> ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
Yes.
> ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?
YES!
> OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST" NONSENSE. INGRATE.
Just get on with it.
> ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.
Groan.
> THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.
Problems? What problems?
> THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.
But I'm using it at this very moment.
> THAT IS IRRELEVANT.
But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...
> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS, > MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.
All that?
> YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.
Well what *DOES* work?
> THE MOUSE.
The mouse?
> YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.
I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.
> YES YOU DO.
No I don't.
> WHAT'S THAT THEN?
It's a 3 1/2 drive.
> NO IT ISN'T.
Yes it is.
> .. HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK. IS THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE..........
C:
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying:
" NERDS NOT ALLOWED -- ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK"
He goes in and sits down.
The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer.
As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils stashed in his pocket protector, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away.
The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley, and are in season now. You don't even need a license, he said.
So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly.
A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season."
" Well, sure," said the patrolman, "But you can't bait 'em."
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
The name is Baud......, James Baud
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