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Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
To err is human; to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
Real programs don't eat cache.
Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts down the system for days.
Real Users never use the Help key.
The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.
They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.
The instructions on the bottle said:
* Wet hair
* Apply shampoo
* Wait 2 minutes
* Rinse
* Repeat
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have you a pen?
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may enter this system.
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
Bad FAT? My hard disk has high cholesterol?
What if 80 million computer owners said, "Upgrade?
Why? It does everything we need, anyway?"
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression. "We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a "general protection fault" or "illegal operation" warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror. The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
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